i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just googled if crying burns calories
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
