My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think my moral compass just broke
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