I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
