Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
