i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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