There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
