I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
