I hate all girls vehemently.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
