You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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