how can u be prego again
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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