I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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