remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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