Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
