I wish you could order shots online.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
what the fuck happened to the tacos
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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