I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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