no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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