Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Damn victory sex feels great
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
