sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
