Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
This can only be settled by a dance off.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
