I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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