I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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