He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
