Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i think i have two assholes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
