how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
