there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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