I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
