I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
