Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im six kinds of drunk right now
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
