It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
