Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
