pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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