I understand Curling. That high.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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