Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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