I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
ok first of all what the fuck
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
