Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
