if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
