At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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