Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
