She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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