yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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