When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
