He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
