We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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