Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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