just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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