honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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