I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
