whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
