at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
