he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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